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Before you freak out, let me say that I am not promoting intimacy in the workplace, and this is NOT what this article is about. What this article IS about is archetypical Lover energy, and why we need it at work. It is about how engagement, commitment and purpose are directly related to the Lover inside each of us.
Let’s start by explaining archetypes. The concept of archetypes was introduced by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. Simply put an archetype represents a collection of subconscious behavioural patterns and character traits that we all have instinctive access to. They simplify human psyche and exemplify the psyche in action in different situations, stages of life, or interactions. The complexity of human nature can be difficult to comprehend at once, and archetypes offer an opportunity to understand the psyche in bites. They divide the vastness of our human nature into processable chunks. There have been many taxonomies developed, and the specific number of archetypes varies, although they all stem from Jung’s fundamental work about archetypes. I encourage you to look into some of them to increase your understanding of your own preferred patterns, of the patterns of others, and to learn to utilise the archetypical energies for your purposes. To explore archetypes, do a simple internet search or prompt an AI to explain these to you. Use any of the examples that follow.
Here are some examples of the different archetypes by different authors. Jung spoke about the Self and Shadow, Anima/Animus and the Hero, but also about the Innocent, Everyman, Outlaw, Explorer, Creator, Ruler, Magician, Lover, Caregiver, Jester, and Sage. Psychologist Robert Moore and mythologist Douglas Gillett talk about male archetypes the King, Warrior, Magician and Lover. Psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen lists the following female archetypes: the Lover, Huntress, Maiden, Sage, Queen, Mother and Mystic. Some lists are longer, some shorter. Regardless of the particular division, all of them include the Lover. The Lover represents the primal, sensitive, sensual, sexual side of us. In comparison the King/Queen represents our rational, regal, responsible, entrepreneurial essence. The Magician/Mystic is exactly what the name suggests – it is about spirituality, mysticism, magic and serenity. The Warrior is the protector. It jumps in to fight for a worthy cause, to restore justice, to protect the weak and the innocent. We have all access to all these energies. Some of them may be more dominant than others, and we tap into different ones in different situations. This article is about the Lover and the beauty of bringing the Lover to workplace.
The essence of the Lover
I need to emphasise again that I do not promote sensual or sexual behaviour at work. Let me explain the Lover energy and then continue to why we need it in the workplace.
The Lover energy is life force energy. It is often related to romance and sex; however, it is much broader than that. In addition to romantic love, it represents love for family and friends, but also for work and creation. It seeks release into the world – a manifestation in physical or psychic form. It looks for and creates connection with self and other people, with the world and the universe, with meaning and purpose. It drives for unity and intimacy. It is emotional, passionate and creative. It is connected to our senses – everything we see, hear, touch, taste or smell. It allows and drives us to sense other people, read their behavioural and psychic cues, empathise, socialise, create relationships. It creates magnetism and pull. The Lover is also about play and pleasure, exploration and appetite. All feelings are governed by the Lover.
The Lover has endless amounts of energy, it has direct access to the source of all life force. And it has the ability to channel this energy into creation, for a purpose or a cause. It has a strong presence and charisma. It is free of boundaries, and can create anything from art and poetry to theories and modern inventions. It is also alert to cheer and pleasure of both the creative process and the outcome. The Lover creates and feeds excitement and passion. It drives engagement and inclusion and creates a sense of belonging. It knows how to celebrate and spread joy. Its momentum and spirit are contagious and it can spark inspiration and cultivate common ground. It brings people together for enjoyable co-creation. The Lover adds grace to everyone and everything.
What does the Lover bring to the workplace?
Regardless of your position or job, tap into the Lover energy whenever you want to
- Create something
- Innovate
- Nurture relationships
- Increase engagement
- Connect people to your or their purpose
- Spur people into action
- Craft a compelling speech or visual story
- Increase overall energy level
- Celebrate wins
What Lovers do for the organisation?
More Lover energy in the organisation will support a strong culture. It cultivates the connection that binds individuals into an organisation; creates the sense of belonging and unity. It cultivates the feeling of sharing a purpose and values. Inclusion is related to identity, but our identity is multifaceted. It is often the Lover that is left behind the door. However, if we cannot bring our whole selves in, our identification with the organisation will also be limited. Engagement is emotional – to be engaged, you need to feel engaged. If you want to engage potential talent or customers you also need to tap into their Lover, their feeling. If you do, they will experience this magnetic pull for your organisation and line up to work for you, with you or to buy from you.
There is more trust in organisations where the Lovers are welcome. Vulnerability and certainty meet in trust. You open up and feel certain that your vulnerability is appreciated and held, not violated. We know from different studies that trust and psychological safety is the corner stone of high performing teams and organisations. We need to let Lovers into the workplace to cultivate deeper trust.
Organisations that welcome the Lover energy are more successful in innovation and creativity. There is more out of the box thinking and more courage to do things differently. It is often the feeling that there must be a better way that pushes us to invent new solutions. If we have tuned down our feelings, set the Lover aside, we also deny the feelings necessary to jump into the unknown and look for unconventional ideas.
You can also see more wholehearted effort, going the extra mile and stronger accountability in such organisations. As the Lover is the source of all life force, your people will have more energy, when they are allowed to bring the Lover to work. They will find the sweet-spot, the flow and can thus bring extraordinary results.
How Lovers improve leadership?
As a leader you can use the Lover energy to increase your impact. The essence of leadership lies in the followers, the way you make your followers feel. Not everyone wants to be a leader, most prefer to follow, but they only follow someone they feel connection to; someone who ignites a feeling of belonging, of being understood and appreciated. The Lover is what makes you relatable and approachable. It makes you humane. It also gives you the ability to sense the people around you. How are they feeling? What do they need? How can you as a leader serve them the best? As a leader you are serving your people, not the other way around. People will generously give what is asked of them (contribution, ideas, support, effort, time and energy), when they feel their needs are being looked after.
The Lover energy also makes you a brilliant team builder. It is this feeling in your gut that tells you how one or another potential new team member will fit in. It will help you create strong relationships with your peers and stakeholders, as they feel connected to you. This creates loyalty and loyalty is the basis of long-term relationships.
The Lover will also help you nurture cooperation. A Lover will always look for a win-win, for everyone’s gain. It will make sure everyone is taken care of, their interests are looked after and they feel good about the relationship and the cooperation.
The Lover energy gives you a strong presence, even before you open your mouth to say something. Storytelling as the key communication tool of every leader is best applied through the Lover. We tell stories, because they awaken a feeling. Stories speak directly to you heart. Through the Lover you will be able to recruit people in your vision, purpose and goals. By communicating your vision with passion and excitement you are much more likely to inspire and engage than when communicating your purpose and goals from the perspective of rationale.
How Lovers help your business?
Lovers have a direct impact on your client experience. It is the Lover that makes sure your internal and external customers are dealt with love and care. Your people will need to feel to be able to make your customers feel. They also need to be able to read your customers socially, sense them, their state of mind, mood, needs and wants. People want to be heard, understood and valued. Making your customers and partners feel you understand and appreciate them is the surest path to creating a strong connection, great relationship, and of course, sales. Not only will this result in a stronger bottom line, but also in everyone’s sense of joy and fulfilment.
Lovers create loyalty in clients, partners and employees. Customer service experts know that people who experience extraordinary service, will return. They will fall in love with how they felt with you. And they will want to tell others how much in love they are with your product, service, people or leaders. Even to the extent that when not happy with the service or product, they will help you improve it, not go ranting about how you failed them. They become active promoters, true fans and admirers. Their passion and loyalty for the product or service can generate endlessly recurring sales. Your clients feel that they are part of your story, they become your brand ambassadors. Tapping into the Lover energy of your clients is what shoots your NPS through the roof.
But it is not about single customers or partners. Lover energy is what creates communities, movements and spurs into action. If you are in a socially impactful business, you definitely want people to fight with you for a worthy cause. Passionate communities make miracles. You can achieve so much more by tapping into the Lover, into feeling. The Lover energy is highly charged, and when this energy is well harnessed and properly directed, there is no limit to what you can do.
How to foster Lovers at work?
There are many ways you can support the Lover energy in your workplace. Here are some of them. Start by trying some of them out and soon enough you will get a sense of your own Lover, who will then guide you to make more space for other Lovers as well.
- Stop over-emphasising professionality. This tells people that they should prefer reason to feeling. But it is the feeling that you need and want, when you need something to be created. Creativity is not rational or reasonable. Reasoning lives in one part of the brain, creativity in another.
- Start acknowledging feelings. Instead of asking “How are you today?”, ask “How are you feeling today?” Make it a habit to ask yourself, how are you feeling every day. This helps you tap into your own Lover, and thus create charisma, relatability and accessibility. When you are asked the question, respond with feeling.
- Invite your people to play. Literally start brainstorming sessions with the words “Let’s play a bit”. You can even use some rather silly ice-breakers to get people off the “I’m a professional” wagon and into play mode. You can proceed with a cue “Imagine, if…” or “If everything was possible…”.
- Use meditation. Start a creative coworking time with a short meditation. You don’t need to be a certified meditation guide to do this. Just sit comfortably yourself, show that it’s ok to relax, close your eyes and ask your colleagues to close them, but don’t nag on the ones who opt for not closing their eyes. Ask them to pay attention to their body and notice their breathing. Even if you do nothing else, but ask them to follow their breathing just for one minute, their state will change. They are more relaxed and more open to wild ideas like playing in the meeting.
- Show feeling and vulnerability. You can do this by either talking about something that moves you or a mistake that you have made. It is important to tap into feeling. But in work environment people only dare to tap into feelings when you show them that it is ok. Or tell others about a mistake you made. By making yourself vulnerable about making a mistake, others will feel it is also allowed for them. Be selective of the mistake and how you talk about it, however.
- Be silly. Tell a silly (although appropriate) joke. If you manage to make people laugh freely, they will relax and the Lover has an easier way out.
- Ask someone else to lead the play. If your own image is too rigid to come across as believably playful or you feel too insecure to lead the play yourself, ask someone else to do it. Introduce them as the lead and take a participant seat yourself. Illustrate stepping down from the lead with a symbol that others can see. Lean against the back of the chair and relax. Maybe even change a seat away from the top of the desk. Take off your watch or glasses or tie or jacket. Don’t cross your arms or legs. Turn to the speaker. Close your laptop, put your phone away. Display interest to feel and play. Don’t dominate the play, but be sure to engage actively.
- Celebrate successes emotionally. Express joy of accomplishments. Make celebrations celebrational and not formal. The joy of accomplishment is a strong confidence builder, and confident people perform better.
- Incorporate feeling words in your speech. When you talk about a vision or goal, make sure to connect it to a feeling in yourself and a feeling that you intend to create. Meaning is both intellectual and emotional. Make sure you help your listeners make both kinds of meaning of what you are saying. This way you create engagement and drive to pursue these visions and goals.
- Last but not least – let yourself fall in love. Fall in love with yourself, with your purpose, with your work. You know the feeling of being in love. It is exhilarating. You seem to need no sleep, nor food. You have endless amounts of energy and a drive so strong you can go through brick walls. I’m not suggesting you need to burn yourself like falling in love sometimes burns, but create a connection to this feeling to be able to tap into it, when you need it.
I hope I have convinced you that Lovers have a place in the workplace. It is not about sexuality and romance, but energy and feelings. Our workplaces need the excitement, joy, creativity and connection that the Lovers can bring. So, welcome them in your environment and reap both the business benefits and personal pleasure or fulfilling your purpose.
#archetypes #lover #lovework #leadership #creativity